Week 10 Awards... The Return of Blogability and Don Mothershed

Introduction

Greetings from rainy Tacoma!

Let's see, since I last apologized for not writing, I've had to deal with my company downsizing and... you know what?  Not important.  If getting stuck watching a 45 year old breast feed in a train station has taught me anything, it's knowing the value of a good meal served right.  And how that relates to this blog, I'm not really sure.  Since I last wrote you, we elected a black president, a vice president from Scranton, PA (you think they get tired of "The Office" jokes there?), Kevin and Cory had to take their love underground after the passing of Prop 8 in California, and now here in Washington, if I get enough doctors to sign off on it, I can kill myself.  

Terrific, terrific.  Speaking of the election...

Oh, and the Cowboys suck Le Ducs now.  Crap.  Turns out a QB who only had the skills to "manage" as a 32 year old probably couldn't pass the ball within 10 feet of his receivers, which he couldn't do.  At all.  Watch the tape.  Actually, don't watch tape.  Moving on.

Who's really sad that I stopped writing?  Matt and Cory.  Both went 0-3 since my last awards.  Who wishes I'd stop?  Doug and David.  3-0 since I stopped.  Jerad doesn't count.  The fruitcake is 10-0 (10-0!!!) for the season.  The last time I wrote, Don still hadn't won a game.  Now he's won two.  Defending champion Matt Escher now stands alone in last place.  This has truly become a hateful place for defending champs (see Dennis, Britton 2007).

Breakdown of League Performance

But in my absence, I had the chance to create a spreadsheet that gave me a lot of interesting looks into the league so far.  I'm a geek, so if you want to make fun of me for doing this... your hollow words will mean nothing to me.  It's a spreadsheet that breaks down the weekly performances of each team and how they measure up with the rest of the league.  If you missed it just now, click on the link in the previous sentence to check it out.  But let's take a look at some of the goodies that were learned from the first 10 weeks of the season.

• Only 4 teams have obtained top score of the week honors.
• 7 teams have checked in with worst team of the week.
• Nick is the only team in the league to have not had the highest score of the week or the lowest score.
• No team in the league has had BOTH the highest scoring week one week and the lowest score another week this season.
• Doug has almost as many losses (3) as highest score of the week (4).
• David is in 2nd place, yet has never had the top score, and one week scored the lowest total in the league.
• In Week 8, David's 153 points stand as the most a team has scored without winning high score honors.
• Ryan has broken 100 points once this season and he has two wins. Matt has done it 5 times and only has 1 win.
• Highest scoring week total for the league was this past week at 1346 points total.
• Lowest league scoring week was Week 1 with 1193.5
• If Doug had played Cory in Week 1, he'd have won by 113.5 points.
• Doug's win over Don in Week 2 was the most lopsided of the year at 89.5 points.  STL!!! scored a 89.0 point victory over Cory in Week 8.
• Kevin's 145 point total in a loss is the highest total a team has scored and not won the game.
• Both David and Doug have scored less than 100 points only once this season.
• Don has the largest losing streak to date with 7 straight losses to open the season.
• Jerad is currently on a 10 game winning streak.
• Since winning last year's title, Matt is 1-9.
• If Don and Doug played every week, Doug would win by an average of 42 points every week.
  
• Three teams share the distinction so far for most weeks with the lowest team score.

I told you there was a lot of mindless information coming out of that.  If you can find more, or you see an error (which I am sure there are plentiful), let a brother know in the comments.

Playoff Scenarios

We're three weeks away from the playoffs!  The road has been grueling, and the commentary on the message board has been pedestrian at best, but we're getting close to the postseason.  Let's take a look at the schedule for your favorite team in the hunt.  Matt, Don and Ryan (and probably Cory)... sadly we are not talking to you.  Better luck next season.  I hear Kevin wants to blow up his team.  In the words of one of my old varsity basketball coaches, "you gonna hit that?"  Jerad, David and Nick have manned up and done their business.  They're in the postseason, so they can rest their starters until then.

Jerad:  His magic number to clinch at least a share of the league's best record is 2.  He could do that this week if he wins and both David and Nick lose.  Otherwise, he could do that simply by winning 2 of the last 3.  Remaining opponents:  Doug, Don, Cory (combined record:  12-18)

David/Nick:  Both have to win out and Jerad lose out to take sole possession of the the top record.  One will be knocked out of the top spot race this weekend as both play each other.  Could end with a tie if Jerad loses 2 of 3 and both win out.  Remaining opponents (David):  Nick, Matt, Ryan (11-19).  Remaining opponents (Nick):  David, Reid, STL!!! (18-11-1)

Doug:  2.5 game lead on 7th place, with 3 to play.  From here to the end of the season, Doug simply needs to win one game to clinch the playoffs.  He could in fact lose all three and probably still make it with a little help.  Remaining opponents: Jerad, Kevin, Don (17-13)

STL!!!:  1 game ahead of 7th place, with 3 to play.  A loss in any of the upcoming three games would require help from others to get them into the playoffs.  Winning out likely clinches at least the sixth spot, since it would knock down the current 6th place team.  Remaining opponents:  Kevin, Dan, Nick (17-13).

Kevin:  .5 games ahead of 7th place, with 3 to play.  Very similar to the STL!!! predicament, which should get clearer after this week.  Must win out to stay in or get help if there is a loss.  Remaining opponents: STL!!!, Doug, Dan  (16-13-1)

Reid:  .5 game back of the 6th seed with 3 to play.  Reid must win at least 2 games to give himself a chance to be in.  Winning all three would probably get him in since he doesn't play any of the two seeds above him and they'll be playing each other.  Remaining opponents:  Dan, Nick, Matt (13-17)

Dan:  1 game back of the 6th seed with 3 to play.  This is a fascinating scenario because all three of Dan's games are against teams directly ahead of him, also fighting for the playoffs.  Dan must win out or win two with disastrous showings from the two of the three teams ahead of him to get in.  Remaining opponents:  Reid, STL!!!, Kevin (13-17)

Wow, so there it is.

Week 10 Awards

Ultimate Fantasy Roster (that was on a starting roster) - Week 10

QB- Jay Culter, 34.0 (Nick)

RB- Thomas Jones, 32.0 (David)

RB- Adrian Peterson, 29.5 (Dan)

WR- Eddie Royal, 29.0 (Doug)

WR- Anquan Boldin, 25.5 (Nick)

W/R- Maurice Jones-Drew, 29.0 (Reid)

W/R- Steve Breaston, 24.5 (Matt)

TE- Tony Gonzalez, 28.0 (Jerad)

K- John Carney, 12.0 (Don)

DEF- Carolina, 21.0 (Jerad)

Player of the Week:  Jay Cutler (Nick)

The Brady Memorial Worst Roster of the Week (that was on a starting roster)

QB- Aaron Rodgers, 5.0 (Matt)

RB- Jamaal Charles, 0.0 (Ryan)

RB- Kevin Faulk, 0.5 (Dan)

WR- Bernard Berrian, 0.0 (Reid)

WR- Steve Smith, 0.5 (David)

TE- Donald Lee, 0.5 (Cory)

W/R- Jerricho Cotchery, 1.5 (Nick)

W/R- Lavy Coles, 1.5 (Cory)

K- Robbie Gould, 2.0 (STL!!!)

DEF- Pittsburgh, 2.0 (Don)

The Least Valuable Player of the Week - Jamaal Charles (Ryan)

___________________________________________________________

The "Matt Escher Team of the Week": Jerad, 153.5

The "Ryan Root Worst Team of the Week": Dan, 79.0

The "Sweep-punked" Award (best team to still lose): Kevin, 145.0

The "Big Balls" Award (worst team to still win): Nick, 99.5

The "Yahoo!" Bust of the Week Award: Dan, 30 points below projection

The "Yahoo!" Screw You Team of the Week: Kevin, 42 points above projection