Getting to know Cory Ritzau...

Who are you, how old are you and from where do you hail?

Cory Ritzau, 25, coming at you from Venice, California.

How did you come to join this league?

Ben and I were friends and rugby teammates together at Point Loma.  He invited me to take over his weekly sports column at the school paper and be a Friday sports guest on his radio show, and eventually I was extended an invitation to the keeper league at its inception in 2006.

What NFL and NCAA team do you root for?

I root for the Patriots (I know what you all are thinking...bandwagon blah blah blah) (ed. note:  Yes). But my affinity goes back to the day that a certain idiot and owner of the Rams, Georgia Frontiere, took the Rams out of So-Cal to St. Louis and I vowed to cheer against them and root for another team. This coincided with Drew Bledsoe's Rose Bowl performance (ed. note:  Ah, the magic of Cougar football) and at 11 years old he became sort of new hero (ed. note: PLEASE see www.tonyhomo.com), so I (actually we: Kevin and I) adopted the Patriots the next season when they drafted him. (ed. note:  Did you kiss on it?) Needless to say the Super Bowl loss to the Packers was hard, but redemption against the team I hated most, the long-gone Rams, was all the more sweeter in 2001. I mean, how could you root against the first team to come out of the tunnel all together as a "team" (ed. note:  Like this:  BOOOOOOOOOOOOO)?  Moving along, my college team is the UCLA Bruins.  This one has been a little harder to defend over the past few years. But I will say this, I was present in the student section at a certain game on December 6th, 2006 against a certain crosstown rival. And my only question for the Trojan fans out there (Ben...) is what is a Bruin's favorite time? The answer: 8:47. Because its 13 to 9. (It would have been much more effective to write this portion of my bio 365 days ago, when we still had the leg up on USC, instead of now having gotten our heads kicked in again last year). But at least we are on the up and up having fired Karl Dorrell and hired Rick Neuhesiel (ed. note:  I love the Bruins and I can't defend this.  Eff you Kevin Craft).

Do you see yourself as more of a 'People's Champion' or 'Hated Villain'?

Well I can already tell by my poll answers that I am slowly taking on the role of "Hated Villain." (ed. note: not just you)  Plus when I started off last year like 8-0 and ran my mouth a little bit before all my injuries to Cadillac and Ronnie Brown had me fading (ed. note:  pay attention Doug), I'm guessing it didn't go over too well.  Anyways, who cares screw it, give me the Hated Villain Title, as long as I am high enough in the power rankings to be considered worth hating.

Why did you pick your fantasy team name? If upon second thought, it's a little on the lame side, feel free to change it. Then come back and answer this question.

My team name is lame, any suggestions?  Looking for help here.

What is the most memorable real life sports moment you have ever experienced?

My first sports memory was hard to top even though it was only through the TV, which is Gibson's homerun.  I was pretty much ruined after that because how does it get any better?  But in terms of witnessing something live...I've been to Dodger playoff games, NCAA Basketball championship games, NHL western conference finals games and so forth but I would have to go with a top 4:

4.  Its already been mentioned:

UCLA 13, USC 9 (2006).  Sitting in the student section was pretty crazy.  At halftime you are thinking, "ok we had a good 30 minutes, a good run, now we're gonna wake up and realize that we suck".  Then by the end of the 3rd quarter, there was a little buzz in the stadium thinking..."could we..." ... "maybe"...." but no, there's no chance..." (ed. note: Kevin is crushed)  And when it ended it was pretty crazy, the place was pretty much pandemonium.

3.  Clippers Playoff Run in 2005-2006.

Now the Clippers are my team.  And it was pretty much once in a lifetime that they actually make and win a playoff series and I got to attend two of the games for their run.  This was kind of like a lunar eclipse, it makes the list just because it doesn't happen that often.  By the way, how could Daniel Ewing let Raja Bell get that shot off in Game 5?  And, I really don't like Elton Brand right now after he got my hopes up and then crushed them.

2.  Cleveland weekend with Kevin - 2005

Kevin's family and friends hooked us up with tickets over the weekend to see the Cavs and the Browns play back to back nights.  We got to check out Cleveland, see LeBron throw down some monster dunks on Saturday, and then head to Paul Brown stadium to see my beloved Patriots kick the crap out of the Browns like 40-7 or something.  Plus for the Pats-Browns game we go to sit in like the VP's box on the 45 yard line club level.  Doesn't get much better than that. (ed. note:  Maybe the most adorable story I've ever read)

1.  US Open Torrey Pines 2008 - Saturday.

Got to go to this event with my Pops for Fathers Day.  It was already a great day of watching some great golf and then in the late afternoon we got to watch Tiger make his magical run.  We saw the Eagle on the par five 13th.  We watch him almost fall on his face after his painful drive on the 15th.  We go to see his chip in on 17 for birdie, and of course the long eagle putt on 18 to give him the lead headed into Sunday.

Would you consider yourself a waiver-wire-vulture, a draft-and-sit, a jack-of-all-trades, or a little bit of everything?

I am pretty much a draft-and-sit, just so you all know so you don't come to me with ridiculous trade proposals. (ed. note:  Talk to your bosom budd

Which female athlete would best cut it in the NFL?

Which female athlete would best cut it in the NFL?  Well this answer was hard.  It came down to two people: USA Gymnast Shawn Johnson or Professional Whiner Ben Bates.  Lets look at a breakdown of the two:

Johnson

Age: 16

Height: 4-9
Weight: 97 lbs

Bates

Age: 24 (but like other Johnson competitors, reports are that he's underage, (like 7) but more because of the way he acts, not how he looks).

Height: 6-2

Weight: 190

(ed. note:  This sounds very aggressive)

Bench Press - 225

Johnson - N/A (she actually picked up Ben and benched her 27 times)

Bates - 4 (a LenDale White like performance on the Bench for her, needs to stay away from the home cooking)

Advantage: Johnson

40 yard dash

Johnson - 4.4 (and it was all done on a balance beam)

Bates - 12.6 (stopped for an asthma inhaler along the way)

Advantage: Johnson

(ed. note:  Wow)

10 yard Shuttle

Johnson - 9.8 (those short legs have to count for something)

Bates - 13.6 (I've seen him get juked way to often on the rugby pitch to know he doesn't stand a chance)

Advantage: Johnson

Amount of Muffins Baked in 30 minutes

Johnson - 2 dozen
Bates - 14 dozen

(Ed. note:  This is just plain mean.  What did Ben do to you???)

Decision: Johnson has a clear advantage over Bates in this comparison.  But at least if Bates can't cut it on the Football field, he sure does know his way around the kitchen and have that to fall back on.  He'll make a great housewife come November. (ed. note:  October)

Which is the more 'obviously past their prime' sports writer; Bill Simmons or Rick Reilly?

They are both having a tough go at it right now.  Simmons probably has some good stuff left in him, but he is too busy worrying about books and podcasts, and Reilly had a great first column about his dad for the four letter network, but hasn't had anything good for them since.